Struggle For Supremacy
by Temperance-is -a -virtue
Summary: Bones and Booth are bickering...so what's new? Chapter Ten, Booth wins but he's too out of his mind to notice. Chapter Eleven, Brennan wins, one way or the other!
1. Chapter 1

_**My very first M-rated, but it's quite tame.**_

Firstly, I would like to say that I am not sure how less silly this story could get. If you ever get caught in a situation like this, the best thing to do is back off. It's stupid to fight a battle this way. Secondly, I want to say that my cranial capacity is overloaded with twisted ideas, and this could be considered one of them.

**Disclaimer:** My birthday is coming. Maybe I'll get lucky. 

"All I'm saying, Booth is that the showing of emotion can be seen as effeminate."

Booth rolled his eyes as he walked beside her towards her office. He was sick of Bones teasing him about the little insecurities every male on the planet had. And when she used that little I-know-more-than –you-know voice, it totally irritated him.

"I wasn't crying, Bones. The guy had on some kind of cheap cologne and it irritated my eyes."

She smiled smugly, "And you expect me to believe that?"

"Yes, the guy had on some stink stuff that irritated me right at the moment when he passed me to kiss his wife for the first time after fifteen years on Death Row. Pretty believable. And plus, my eyes just welled. I didn't cry."

"You were about to."

"You don't know that."

They reached her office and standing in the middle of the room, they continued their little tussle.

"Booth, I know you like to feel all alpha-male, but it is human to want to express emotion, even if it was over a silly movie-type moment."

"I t was not a movie-type moment. It was beautiful moment and I appreciate it as much, but I did not get emotional." Booth defended himself.

"It was quite dramatic, almost as if it was being staged. It reminded me of the movie where the woman runs off the plane into the man's waiting arms, he spins her around and kisses her and all the people nearby start clapping for some strange reason. Have you ever watched that one?"

"That could be any number of movies, Bones."

"Exactly. It's a movie-type moment. It's the moment in a movie where the audience starts crying, i.e. you."

Booth held up his hand "I did not cry, Bones."

She stepped close to him, "You just won't admit that…"

The rest of her sentence died in her throat and she looked down. Having stepped closer to Booth at the time that he raised his palm, her breast was now cradled in his hand.

There was a little silence as they both assessed the situation.

"Booth, let go of me," said Bones.

He was about to do just that, when he saw something flicker in her eye. It made him realize, he now had the upper hand. It was an evil thought that crossed his mind next, and he made it take over.

"No,"

"What?"  
"You stepped up, Bones, so it's you who has to step back."

She saw the challenge in his eyes. Oh, so now this was a power struggle, she realized, and whoever backed down was the bigger wuss. That was not her! She prepared herself to accept the challenge.

"Booth, you know that touching me in this manner translates as inappropriate, so let go."

"Step back."

"Let go, Booth."

"Step back, Bones."

"You know I realize you want to prove a point, Booth, but is this really the way to do it?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

He closed his hand over her breast and saw her eyes open wide in shock.

"Booth! You wouldn't dare!"

"I think I just did," he smiled triumphantly.

She let out a huffy little breath, "That was uncalled for. Totally, total…oooooh, don't do that!"

For his hand had shifted as he moved, unintentionally sending her nerve endings ablaze. Booth raised an eyebrow. He couldn't believe how utterly fun unnerving Temperance Brennan was.

"All you have to do is step back."

"Booth, you have to let me go."

"No, I think you need to step back."

"Let go."

"Step back."

She glared at him. Oh, she wanted to slap that smug smile on her face. But that would require backing down. And Temperance Brennan never backed down in any circumstance. She and he would just have to stand there with his hand on her breast until somebody like Angela came in and embarrassed him.

She stood there looking at him like she was made of blue steel. As if she had all the resistance in the world. _Okay_, Booth thought, _I wasn't gonna do it, but you forced me._

He ran his thumb over her nipple. Over and over. Her breath caught, despite herself, and he could see the ice in her expression beginning to melt.

"Don't," she said, struggling to keep her expression firm, even as she leaned closer, "Stop."

"What did you say? Don't stop?"

"No! I said 'Don't' first, then I said 'Stop'. I did not say them together."

"That isn't what I heard," he continued stroking until he saw her lids flutter. Her eyes opened and they were filled with frustration. He bet she was more frustrated with herself than him right now.

"Booth," she began, "this is childish of you. All you have to do is just take your hand away and stop acting out some silly fantasy on me."

So she was resorting to embarrassing him. Like that could work. He pretended to consider as he massaged her, hearing a little moan that told him he was winning, "Um, no. You stepped up to the plate. Either you back down or bat it out."

"Is that a reference to baseball?" she asked as she leaned even closer.

"Yes it is, Bones, very good. Are you going to step back?"

"No."

"Too bad," he could hear her breath coming in pants as his hand slid over her. This stupid fight had its perks.

"You're gonna be sorry…" she sighed.

He chuckled, "Doubt it."

Her brain was turning to mush. It was getting harder to concentrate on winning their little physical battle. But she never backed down from a challenge and she refused to start now.

She closed the space between them and placed her mouth on his. It heightened the sensations she was already feeling, but she hoped it would also serve to get his attention refocused and give her the upper hand.

He would have been all too ready to give in to the kiss if he didn't realize that it was a plot to get him distracted. _No, no, Bones, it ain't gonna work_. They both persisted, even when the other didn't back down. It was Bones who gave in first.

"Ugh! Booth, let go!" she shouted in frustration.

He whispered, "_Step back_."

She let out a moan that was laced with pleasure and fury, "You irritating…!"

"Bones, you only have to step back."

"NO!"

"Okay. I'll make it easy for you," he ran his thumb over her, hearing her breath catch, "I will let go if you promise not to make your little comments about my masculinity ever again. That is all you have to do."

Not knowing when to take a bargain, she said defiantly, "No."

_Oh, so you wanna play the hard way, huh? _He used his finger to circle her nipple, "Just say you promise, Bones, and I'll let go."

Her control was beginning to slip dangerously. She could do nothing but concede defeat, "Yes."

"What? I don't think I heard you."

"Yes! I said yes, I promise!"

She suddenly felt cold as his hand fell away from her.

"Thank you very much."

He walked away and left her standing there, waiting for her world to stop spinning.

"I'm going…to the bathroom."

Brennan stormed out of her office and headed for only Heaven knew where. If he wasn't the most moronic, thick-headed person she ever met! Why would he do that? All he had to do was step back, since it was his fault his hand was there in the first place, and the whole thing would have been over in seconds, not stretched out for longer than needed and leaving her body pulsing. She needed a candy bar, a cigarette, a shower, _anything_ that could calm her down.

She needed to talk to Angela…

Booth sat in her chair and put his feet on her desk. He was King of the Hill for the moment, and he felt like milking all the glory. It was her fault, the whole thing. She should have backed down a long time ago. It wasn't his fault that she melted like a Popsicle in the sun beneath his fingers.

He sighed. He wouldn't mind her starting another argument, so he could win it _his way_ again...

 Ill, right? So darn ill.

That was the most pointless fan fiction I ever read, and I wrote it!

My friend read it (without my permission) and said that they're both lying to themselves. They wanted to grab each other like that, and the power struggle part was irrelevant. What do you think?


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Nah.

Thank you to all of you who reviewed to say that I should work on my confidence. I definitely will. This one is a little more intense than the last, but I hope you will enjoy it.

* * *

"You didn't even call me!" 

"You were sick, Bones."

Temperance Brennan could not think of a time when she felt more annoyed at her partner than she did right now. Just because she had told him that she had a headache, he partnered up with the very first person he found in the lab to bring to the field with him that day. It had happened to be Zach.

They were in the car, driving away from the press conference that Zach had been involved in. she had found it difficult to listen, and decided instead to wander away from the crowd watching from afar as Zach answered the reporters' questions.

"Booth, although I don't begrudge Zach the oppourtunity to go out of the lab, I was feeling perfectly fine. I could have been the one to identify the bones as those of that missing actress."

It was Booth's fault; she hadn't been that sick, she could have been out of her couch and heading to the moon with him if he had just asked her to come.

"It was a coincidence. What was I to do, turn back time like Superman? Fly around the world and stopped its rotation so I could put you there at the crime scene instead of Zach?"

_That would have been nice_. "Of course not Booth! I just think you at least could have asked me."

"You were sick, Bones! I didn't want to disturb your rest. If anything, you should be thanking me for helping you get better."

"That should have been me. I should be the one talking to the reporters and doing those interviews. Not Zach." She folded her arms.

There was a pause. "Do you know how you just sounded?" Booth asked her.

"How?" she asked.

"Jealous."

"_Jealous!_"

"You're jealous of Zach. Jeez, Bones, I didn't take you as the type that got jealous like a kid whose got a big lollipop and wants another 'cause it's more colourful. That's low of you, Bones."

"I do not want Zach's lollipop!" she banged her fist against his leg.

"You want it, Bones. You saw a friend today getting the recognition he deserved and instead of being happy, you start brooding and cussing. And you know what Bones? That makes me sick. It was Zach's moment and you just ruined it for him. I didn't realize that you are really just as cold as I thought you were."

Her heart thumped through her chest. _What did you just say?_ Far from being hurt and saddened by what he said, Brennan was hurt and furious! How dare he tell her that! She didn't ruin anything for Zach and she was far from cold! She looked at her partner, and an urge to hurt him back bubbled up inside her.

She looked at the placement of her hand on his leg and a dark idea struck her suddenly. She ran her hand across his leg, her plan formulating quickly in her mind.

"Booth, you had better apologize to me for that."

He turned away from focusing on the road to look at her. "For what?"

"Booth, I'm warning you," she slid her hand between his legs.

He felt a light tightening in his groin region, but dismissed it. That's what happened normally when his partner was in the car. But when the sensation felt as if there was an external force causing it, he chanced a look down and saw his partner's pale hand against the dark material of his pants.

"Bones, what the hell are you doing?" he asked.

"Apologize and I'll take my hand away."

Oh, so it was a power struggle. This time she held the reigns, and she was expecting him to down first. In her little logical dreams. He had willpower. He had been through the Afghan desert. He had shot people. He had taken care of a five year old. He could handle whatever she had in store for him.

_Bring it on, Bones._

"I'm not gonna apologize when I have nothing to be sorry for," he said and refocused on the road.

_Oh, so you think you can outwit me,_ Brennan thought_, we'll see about that._

She put her palm on his crotch and rubbed up and down, up and down, and watched as his vision clouded.

"You know Booth, it's ill-advised to drive while someone is giving you a hand job," she stroked him as she said it, feeling him jerk against her hand.

"Nobody asked you to put there, Bones."

"Apologize."

"No."

"Apologize to me, Booth."

"No."

"Why not?"

He looked at her, "'Cause I'm not sorry."

_Oh yeah? Not yet, but you will be._

She quickened her pace and the friction from her hand caused a burst of heat and pleasure in Booth's body.

"Bones, take your hand from there!"

"Not till you apologize."

He made sound that was laced with anger, "If I crash this car..."

"It will be your fault for not apologizing to me," Brennan finished.

"Bones!" he groaned her name, "this is not fair! I'm driving!"

"Then pull over," she started to unzip his pants, "Or make it easier on yourself and apologize."

"I don't have anything to be sorry for."

_Wrong answer_. Her hand reached into his under wear.

"BONES!" he screamed, his breath coming in pants. "Get your hand off me you damn dirty anthropologist!"

"All you have to do Booth is surrender."

"Nope, I'm not surrendering!"

"Red light."

The SUV screeched to a halt at the stoplight. Booth truly hadn't seen it. He was too busy concentrating on what his partner's hand was doing. _Okay, Booth, concentrate. You can't let her win. She can't win_. His breathing was becoming laboured, and she hadn't even touched him yet. But he refused to give up even as her hand fisted around him and moved back and forth, driving him up the wall. He was glad the windows of the SUV were tinted, or he would be a very embarrassed agent.

She knew the best way to win this was to strike quickly, and that was what she did. And she also knew he was about to give up, she could feel it.

"Booth, apologize," She prompted, "Just say that you're sorry and you'll be free to drive."

"But you deserved it Bones, and we both know you did."

_Oh, you're in for it, Seely Booth. Feel the wrath._

He almost completely lost it when tightened her grip. Nevertheless, he kept a straight face.

"Don't you feel the least bit self conscious that you're handing someone against their will on a public thoroughfare?" he said.

"Well, no." She smiled at him.

The light changed and he drove into an open lot and parked far from the road.

"Now get your act together, Bones and take your hand out of my pants so we can go back to work!"

_No can do, honey._

She hoisted herself up, swung her leg over, and straddled him, switching to her right hand, which was better at this sort of thing anyway. A fact she knew he realized when his groan hit her ear.

"Say you're sorry."

"I'm not sorry."

"Tell me you're sorry!"

"But I'm not!"

She pressed her lips to his, catching his groan as she worked her fingers over him. She sucked his lower lip in her mouth and ran her tongue over it. His eyes closed and he sighed. _Gotcha._

"Just say it."

"I can't."

"Come on..."

"I won't mean it."

She put her lips close to his ear and whispered, _"Don't you want me to make love to you right here and now?"_ She made sure to use the terminology he was used to, in order for him not to catch on to the trick.

"Yes," he said besides himself.

"Then just say you're sorry."

"I'm sorry."

_Success!_ "What?" she gloated, "Say that again?"

"I'm sorry, Bones. I'm so sorry for whatever it is I did. I am so, so sorry."

Her hand came out of his pants instantly. She came off of him and sat back in her seat.  
"That's all I wanted to hear," she said triumphantly.

He sat there, stunned. Replaying it in his head, he saw the exact moment where she had won. He nearly hit himself for not seeing the trick she was playing. _Stupid, stupid, stupid! _

"Excuse me," he got out of the car.

She was good, he thought as he slammed the car door. But how he had not seen the trick from a mile away was what he wanted to know. Looking back at it, it was easy to pinpoint. He kicked a tyre as he zipped up his pants. It hurt a whole lot, but it did its job when the stabbing pain in his toe distracted him from the pain he was felling in other places.

To make it worse, he couldn't remember what he had just apologized for!

She laughed loudly. It echoed off the walls of the SUV. Now that was the way to win an argument! It didn't matter that when she whispered in Booth's ear she had half meant it. It was beside the point that she hadn't kissed him as a part of her plan. It worked didn't it? She had turned Booth into a quivering mass of jelly. That was what was important.

And it was so worth it.

* * *

See how dangerous this type of fight can be? She almost made herself lose. Oh, and if anyone is wondering, yes, Brennan is wrong. 

That was a bit evil of me to leave Booth jacked up, but it was part of Brennan winning.

Today's Road Safety Tip is brought to you by Dr. Temperance Brennan. Remember drivers, never attempt to drive while receiving a hand job. Remember, Road Safety begins with you!

R&R please! Tell me how it went.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Only after I learn all the names of the bones in the body, and I'm too lazy to do that.

Just want to say, this is not originally my plot. I changed the plot a little to suit Booth and Brennan and I know that my friend wouldn't mind, since she steals my plots all the time. If you sue me, I'll sue you back. HA HA!

I should warn you, my friend is more twisted than me.

_**Oh, warning, the M is getting M-ier. ****It is still tame, but slightly wilder than the last two. Slightly. Oh, who am I kidding? It's like an animal circus in here!

* * *

**_

"I have never screamed."

"I find that hard to believe."

"I have never found the reason to."

"That's not true."

He couldn't remember how the conversation had started. Bones had been bugging him about something as usual and they had started bickering. The argument had run its course and they had somehow reached here, talking about sex. Many times their arguments had reached this destination, though he really couldn't think why. It wasn't like they were thinking about having sex all the time, or they would have jumped each other by now. It wasn't usually his favourite topic to talk to her about, but today it really interested him. The subject of whether or not Bones had had ever screamed while having sex was the discussion and he really hadn't expected this answer.

"Why would I lie? It isn't necessary to scream, and it doesn't say anything about how much I enjoy myself. I would say that I enjoy myself immensely without all that noise."

He watched the movement of the movement of the skirt of her white sundress as she walked in front of him. They were going into the wine cellar of the California villa that they had been staying at while working on a case involving the remains of an heiress to a multimillion dollar production company in Hollywood. The case had proven to be more complicated than they had expected, with more suspects every day. But now there was nothing to do but wait until the lab called back with the results.

"So you're saying that you've never had the urge to just..." Booth couldn't believe he was going to say it, "Scream for bloody murder 'cause you were having so much fun?"

She looked up from a bottle she was inspecting, "No."

"That's a piece of crap. I always make..."

He stopped in mid sentence. She was looking at him as if he had sprouted feelers.

"What were you going to say, Booth?"

He thought about it. Tried to make sure he was correct and not making a blind statement. Counting back as far as High School, he could remember making every single girl at least shout. So either she was lying about never screaming or...

But was it possible that he was just that good? Was that something that could be used to measure sexual prowess? Maybe not. Bones said it wasn't necessary to scream. And she was the one with the degrees.

He pushed the thought aside a second, "So you're telling me that it is not important to scream?"

"No it isn't. Not for me at least. It is no indication of how enjoyable the sex is."

"So why is it that every girl that I've been with has screamed?"

He wondered if he imagined the way her ears perked up, like a dog being alerted to dinner, when he admitted that. She put down bottle she was inspecting on the table behind her, and her eyes roved over him, almost in surprise.

"I couldn't answer that Booth. I guess that you will have to ask those girls that you have had sex with. I have never had sex with you, so I wouldn't know."

A wide grin spread across Booth's face. Why was he suddenly feeling so unbelievably cocky? He stepped closer to her, a little triumphant grin on his face.

"I bet I can make you scream," he said like a prize fighter imitating his opponent.

She looked at him, looked down and took up another bottle, "I doubt it."

"Come on, Bones you're the one that does math. Let's assume that we have both had sex with...fifty people in our lives each."

Her expression could be translated into one sentence, _Yeah right_,"So were assuming..."

"And one hundred percent of the time you have never screamed. Also one hundred percent of the time, I have made the girl I'm sleeping with scream. It would follow that I would make you scream if we had sex."

"_OR_ it could also follow that I would be the first person you have sex with who doesn't make a single sound," she met his gaze, matching his challenge pound for pound.

"Yeah right Bones; I would have you screaming the four walls down and waking the entire neighbourhood." He was almost dancing with overconfidence now, "I bet you'd be so loud, they'd call the police."

"You're bragging Booth."

"Of course I'm bragging, Bones." He pointed in her face, "I am that good. I'm the boss. And I would make you scream till this cellar caved in if I so much as touched you right now."

_Oh, yeah?_ "Prove it."

"What?" It was his turn to have his ears perk up. He must be hearing things.

She hopped up on the table, moved the bottles aside, giving him a come-hither-and-do-me look.

"I said prove it. If I scream, you win. But I assure you before hand, I won't make a sound."

"Huh?" a tiny bit of his cockiness melted at her words.

She smiled, "You heard me."

Booth felt like Ashton Kutcher was going to jump out from behind a barrel of wine in another second. He laughed at her. Was she leaking brain fluid? Nevertheless he stepped closer.

"So you don't think I won't win? You have too much confidence in your abilities, Bones."

She smiled as his hand went to her knee, "Well if I didn't, I wouldn't be competent in my field, would I?"

His hand pushed her long skirt up. She shivered, but he didn't notice. When the skirt was finally over her knee, he put his hand on her exposed knee.

"I wanna know though, why don't you scream?"

She gave him a confused look, "I just told you."

"Is it because you don't want to or because you won't?"

"Won't?"

"Won't scream. I mean there are some guys who can make any girl scream." His smile was so smug; she wanted to kiss it off.

"Like you." Brennan couldn't understand how come she suddenly felt so hot in the cool cellar. Booth's hand was on her thigh and she eyed it to have visual confirmation that it was indeed moving up her skirt.

"I never said that. But since I have an impeccable track record so far..."

Oh please. This battle was already won in her estimation. He could feel her up all he wanted, she wouldn't even squeak. And he would have met his match, one girl in the world he couldn't make scream in pleasure.

"Nobody can make me do what I don't want to do."

_Oh, you'll want to_

"Not a sound, right?" he said. She nodded, already starting the game.

His hand touched the cotton of her panties and she squirmed, not with apprehension, more with anticipation. He placed his palm over her and put on the most casual expression he could muster while touching her the way he previously only touched her in his musings entitled "If Only."

"How about this case huh?"

She gave him a look that said, _Words make sounds, Booth._ He chuckled.

"Okay, you won't talk? I'll talk. The boyfriend is the suspect that looks the most likely to kill her for all that money. However, the mother who was put out of the will has links to the crime lord whose MO almost matches the way the victim was killed. What do you think? "

Silence.

He moved his hand, massaging her through the cotton. Then he tugged at the waist of the garment that separated his hand from her core. Her expression, though she was trying to hide it, changed suddenly. Her eyes glazed over.

He continued his speech, if only to distract himself from how this was affecting _him_, "The victim had an extra-marital affair that her husband knew about, and denies being angry about. But we of course don't believe that..."

"Uhhh..." he heard her say, and was a little disappointed that she gave up so soon.

"Ha. I won, Bones."

"No! You did not."

"You made a sound."

"Yes, but I always make sounds during sex," she corrected, "The theory you are trying to test is that you can make me scream. You have yet to prove that. So continue."

She was treating this like a Science Project. He wondered if he would be forced to present data afterward.

"Gladly. This just makes this easier, any way. You are going to make this whole place echo."

"This cellar already echoes, Booth. Mmm...It will not take much to...make it echo."

His hand found her wet (no big surprise) and his finger stroked at the entrance, teasing her. He saw her eyes close. She looked like she was in another world. Her head flopped unto his shoulder and she was breathing heavily. _Aha! Just a matter of time..._

"Hey, Bones."

"Mmmm?" she groaned.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?"

She sucked in a breath before she answered, "So what if I am? Is that wrong?"

He slowly, _slowly_ entered her with one finger, stroking her softness. He could swear he heard her scream, even if it was a tiny little squeak of a sound. He had won, fair and square.

"You know that intake of breath can be considered a scream," he said, "I win Bones."

"No, it can be considered a gasp, Booth. I only gasped nothing else."

"Whatever."

Her head was moving on his shoulder and she was grinding in his hand. He took the oppourtunity to insert another of his fingers into her. She really gasped then.

He couldn't believe how soft she felt. So soft and wet and...

"Wow, Bones."

She sucked in another breath, "What?'

"You feel so _good_."

He used his free hand to lift her chin, met her mouth with his. She didn't complain at first, and he gave in a little. He cupped her breast, and felt her reaction to his touch with his other hand. Wow, was all he could think. She ground on him, gripped his shoulder. Then, she pushed him away.

"Booth, don't kiss me. I'm trying to concentrate. That can be considered cheating."

"Oh. Sorry."

His fingers continued to explore, plunging deeper and deeper into her. Them he touched her exactly where she needed to be touched, without realising it.

Her scream really did echo. He heard the replay three times before it settled. He did it again, and she screamed even louder.

"Whoa! There we go!"

"That was a gasp! Only a gasp! I DID NOT SCREAM!"

"Why are you talking so loud?"

"Booth!" he heard his name echo all around him. Wow. That was a memorable experience.

"Bones you're screaming."

"No! I'm not!"

"The walls are echoing."

"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!"

"Wow, Bones. That's definitely a..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"...scream."

"YES!"

"You're screaming."

"I'M AWARE OF THAT! I'M NOT DEAF!"

"So I win."

He made to move away from her, but she grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer.

"BOOTH, IF YOU DARE BACK AWAY NOW, I SWEAR I'LL RIP YOUR SKIN FROM YOUR BONES!"

"Okay! Okay!"

He tried to keep himself together as she rocked against him. Her hands locked behind his neck and she rode out an orgasm that almost did cave in the cellar they were in.

She was screaming for bloody murder because she was having so much fun. Now, where had he heard that before?

When she finally drifted back down to Earth, her head flopped on his shoulder again, trying to catch her breath. Her heart was thudding. And his felt like it was doing the Rumba in his chest. Also, every single muscle in his body was standing at attention, as if the General was coming.

"So, that's it," he pushed his hands in his pockets and backed away, "I won. And ...I'm gonna go..."

He turned to the stairs, running like a crazy person. He had never seen his partner like that, so wild and vulgar and sexy. Did he really do that?

Wow.

He hadn't expected that response from her. She was right; nobody made Bones do what she didn't want to do. She didn't want to scream so he thought she would put up more of a resistance, not break out like a wild animal under his hand.

He needed to calm down. He was throbbing with excitement.

A shower. That was what he needed a nice, cold shower...

Brennan couldn't move from where she was sitting on the table. She didn't trust her legs to function. They felt like they were made of Jell-O.

That... was... _awesome_

She took up a corkscrew on the table, screwed it into the bottle beside her, popped the cork and chugged the hot wine. She was calming down and she didn't want to. She wanted to feel the way she did a while ago for as long as possible.

She got up, her knees wobbling. She wondered if he was in for performing an encore...

* * *

I tried to make that as funny as possible. After all, it does say Humour up there. Did I succeed? 

I think I did justice to my friend's plot ( it was just the plot that I stole and nothing else). Although it kind of still sounds like she wrote it, all the words are mine. Most of the twisted is on her account though.

Now, you should review a story like this. Believe me. It's good to indulge somebody with a twisted mind. Also my insecurities are back, you need to console me. Now, HIT THE BUTTON!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Who owns a show anyway? The director? The creator? The writers? Definitely not the fans! Of which I am one.

**Warning:** **Stupid Argument Alert!** **This fic is for laughing purposes only**. **Rated somewhere between M and T, leaning heavily on the T side. ******

………………………………………………………………………..

**SPLASHING AROUND**

The mountains surrounding the cabin were emerald green with lush vegetation. The clear blue sky was reflected in the calm surface of the pond. A large bird flew noiselessly overhead. The air was cool and fresh and still. There was calm over the scene, all was peace and quiet.

Except for the sounds of Booth and Brennan bickering on the dock.

"I'm being reasonable here!"

"No, you are not!"

"I don't want the bed!"

"Neither do I!"

"You're being a stupid Alpha Male, that's what you're being!"

"You get the room, Bones, and that's final!"

"No, it isn't!"

Bones was the first woman he ever met that would turn down a comfortable bed for a lumpy couch. She must be insane. He was giving her the better part of the deal.

"Your stuff is already in the room, Bones! It makes no sense to move them."

"Actually it's your stuff that's in the room. I moved them there."

"What!" he got out of the chair he was in trying to relax in and fish when she came out of the cabin and started this stupid argument. They had been the only ones there, because Jack, Angla, Cam and Zach went to the nearby town to get groceries. She had come to the dock to ask him 'kindly' to switch sleeping arrangements, which he couldn't see why up to now.

"I want the couch, Booth. So I moved your things to the room."

"You had no right to touch my stuff!" he poked her in her chest.

"Booth! That was uncalled for!" she poked him back.

He was really angry now. Why was she being such a pest today? They were on vacation, for crying out loud! He just wanted to enjoy himself, not argue over who slept where.

"Bones, you are taking that room if I have to drag you into that bed tonight. I will take the couch."

"But why, Booth? I want the couch! Why can't I have the couch?"

"You're a girl! You should be the one who would be happy to take the room. That would give you some privacy. Don't you want privacy?"

"But you'll be uncomfortable on that couch. I'm offering you comfort. Don't you want comfort?"

"No! I'll be fine on the couch!" he took his fishing rod back up and tried to get comfortable in the chair again.

Why was he so difficult today? What she was asking was reasonable. He was getting the better end of the bargain obviously. Just because she was female didn't mean she needed to sleep in the more comfortable place. She had slept in worse places than that couch!

"Booth, this is unnecessary to fight over sleeping arrangements. So just do what I say and…"

Oh no. She did not just say that.

He turned to look at her, "Hey, I don't have to do what you say, especially now that you getting on my last, ultimate and final nerve!"

"All those words mean the same thing!" said her mouth that was the only thing he could see as she bent forward. Oh that damn mouth. He just wanted to…

He pushed the thought aside, "I don't give a rat's ass Bones! You are really making this vacation hard for me. _Really really_ hard! All I wanted to do was take in the scenery, do a little fishing and go home relaxed."

"There are no fish in this pond.'

He already knew that, but he pretended not to hear her, "Huh?"

"THERE ARE NO FISH IN THIS POND!"  
"Ah! Bones!" he grabbed his ear. She had shouted right into it.

"Why wont you stop being impossible and take the damn room?"

"I was only thinking of you, Bones!"

"I doubt that, because you would have taken the room and given me what I wanted."

He got up. His anger was at boiling point now. _She_ was the one being impossible, _he_ was the one being the gentleman.

""Bones, you're gonna need a room. Just take the room."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I have my reasons!"

"One of them is…"

"I want to observe the Orion constellation tonight and the best vantage point is either Cam's room or the living room."

"So bother Cam for her room!"

"She isn't here!"

"When she comes back then!"

" No!"

"You don't want to end this argument easily, do you?"

"You are the one being infallibly unreasonable!"

He stepped closer, "You just wanna pick on me today, don't you Temperance Brennan?"

"I just want the stupid couch," she stepped forward too.

"Ask Cam for her room."

"I want to ask you."

"Well you're not getting it. Ask Cam for her room or the only stars you'll be seeing will be in your dreams!"

Because their bodies were so close, the second he moved forward it sent her off balance and she stepped off the deck.

"Ahhh!" suspended in midair like a 1960's cartoon character, she grabbed at his shirt for balance. He came forward and the two of them fell off the deck.

There was an almighty splash as the pair of them hit the water.

They surfaced a second later, glaring at each other like rival high school cheerleading captains.

"Booth, you got me all wet!" Brennan exclaimed. She made for the shore and he followed her, tugging at his flannel shirt to get it off.

"I think the water did that, Bones. You on the other hand pulled me into the water! What is wrong with you?" he flung the shirt on the grass at his feet.

"Other than the fact that I want to watch the stars tonight and you won't let me?" she said with venom in the voice. He made a rude gesture behind her back.

"You know what?" he passed her and began walking up the steps to the cabin, "I am going to help you. I'm gonna go unpack your bag."

"Seely Booth, don't you dare put your hands on my underwear!" she exclaimed.

"I'm putting my hands on everything else though. If you're gonna act like a spoiled brat-"

He felt an arm pull him back. He turned to see Brennan breathing fire.

"Why won't you just give it up? All I'm asking is for you to sleep in a more comfortable place than you would have and have all the privacy you want. What is so hard in that?"

His eyes went down as she started to unbutton her wet blouse. She undid the buttons with speed and no finesse, yanked it off and flung it in the grass.

"Well, if you didn't make it so much like a damn command, I'd consider it! You want me to follow all your requests blindly. But what do I get out of it, huh?" he said to her bra.

"You get to sleep! S-L-E-E-P! Sleep!"

"Have you ever been in the Spelling Bee?"

"I won every one too!"

"No doubt," he went into the door and yanked it open. He froze when he felt it connect with some part of her and her scream of hurt and anger.

"You hit me!"

"You shouldn't have come sneaking up on me!" he said grabbing his belt buckle and yanking at it to get it off. He didn't give a crap any more if he hit her, pushed her into lakes, pinned her on the ground and shut that pretty mouth up… He didn't care because she was being an unreasonable-

"You're being so inconsiderate!" she pulled at the buttons of her wet shorts and kicked them off.

"And you're being a brat as usual!"

"Why can't you just give it to me?!"

"If you want it so damn much, why didn't you just ask!"

"I thought that was what I was doing!"

"No, Bones. You were demanding."

"That doesn't mean you couldn't just be a good boy and give it to me."  
"Shut up, Bones."

"Did you just shut me up?"

"Yes I did."

"Then I'll just keep talking."

She watched as Booth's jeans came down.

"Nice boxers, Booth." She said it with poison in her voice. The pattern on Booth's underwear was of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

"You too, Bones," he spat. Hers had the Wonder Woman logo on it.

"Alright let's settle this," he said, "The first person to touch the couch gets to sleep there."

"That's puerile."

"It suits the argument perfectly then."

"Alright, one, two, thr-"

"Now who the hell told you it was on your count?"he asked.

"It is only fair that since you suggested, I get to count it off."

He pointed to himself, "I'll count, okay?"

"Fine. That will make it easier to win."

"One, two-"

He touched the couch at the same time she did. Seeing that, he jumped into it to seal his victory she jumped into it a second after him. She ended up in his lap. The two of them shot daggers at each other.

"You cheated! You were supposed to count to- mmmph!"

His mouth was on hers and it muffled the rest of her sentence. Which was fine because she had forgotten what she was going to say anyway. His hands went into her hair and she turned her upper body to his. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him back. It was the first time both of them had shut up all day.

They finally broke apart, sucking air into their lungs. They stared at each other a while and Booth saw the exact moment that realization dawned on her face. Then…

_THWACK!!!!_

"OW!"

"Why the hell did you kiss me?"

"Jeez, Bones! Dammit, I'm sorry!"

She got off his lap, her arms folded over her breasts, "Who gave you the right to touch me?"

"I-I didn't mean to!" he held his jaw and rubbed at the pain as he got up.

"Oh, please Booth I didn't hit you that hard."

"Really?" he felt through his cheek to see if he still had teeth left, "I think I may need dentures."

"Oh, stop being a wimp. Come here," she pulled him closer and instead of checking his teeth, she kissed him.

"Better?"

"Not yet," Booth grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer. Her leg instinctively wrapped around his waist and her hands around his neck as he kissed her again. This one lasted a long time, both of them unwilling to break it. Finally, Brennan pushed him away.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she asked.

"You started it!" he accused her falsely.

"No actually you started it!"

"You did!"

"YOU DID!"

"I'm going to change!" he shouted, going to the disputed room for his bag. He slammed the door, taking out some of his frustration on the inanimate object. But by the time it slammed noisily, it opened again as Brennan came in.

"You are so irritable, Booth! Why don't you just…uugh!"

She walked across the room towards him, jumped and wrapped her legs around him. The force knocked him back and they fell on the queen sized bed. They rolled around, kissing and touching each other frantically all over. They groped at each other, creating so much friction that they were warm and dry by the time they heard a car engine outside, signaling the return of the others,

They broke apart reluctantly and Booth scrambled off his partner, immediately feeling a loss of warmth. He took up his dry clothes and headed to the door. He turned and looked at her propped up on her elbows on the bed.

"This is not over," his voice was full of threat.

"Not by a long shot!" she shouted as he shut the door.

…………………………………………………………………………

I was laughing straight to the end after I wrote the word Thwack!

And I can't stop! I think that part was so funny! Do you? Because she was kissing him and then when she realized that he kissed her she _actually_ slapped him. In a lot of fan fictions, it says he would be afraid to kiss her because she would slap him. Now she actually did!

Do you think the others saw Booth and Brennan's shirts in the grass? Maaaaaaybe.

I should explain why they were arguing and jumping each other at the same time. They were really sexually frustrated and they found that the only outlet they could take it out on was each other. And the medium they chose was through senseless bickering...

I'm still laughing! HA! HA HA HA!

Review!!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** According to Brian McKnight, "_When the eagles forget how to fly, and it's 20 below in July, and when violets turn red and roses turn blue"_ I'll own Bones.

So this one isn't really funny, but I didn't want to make another story. But guess what? This ain't mild smut, or slightly mild smut, this is ALL OUT SMUT. So kiddies, run away now.

* * *

"Phillipa Sanders is just as guilty as Delilah Chang isn't she? Even though she did not actually chop Peter Morris with the axe, she stood there and watched Delilah do it. She handed her the murder weapon; her prints are on it. That therefore means she is responsible partly for his death. She could have refused to hand Delilah the axe, but she didn't. She could have also untied him. But she refused to do that also. She is definitely going to jail." 

"Bones, you need to be quiet," said Booth, whispering so that the men further down the alley did not hear him. They were following Bert Hammond, a hit man, as he walked by the club near his house. He was going up the stairs to his house, where Booth had witnessed a young woman going up a minute ago. Booth thought maybe it was his sister, but remembering the man's file, he recalled he had no immediate family. The other possibility lay in the fact that she could be his girlfriend. But the girl didn't even look eighteen, and Bert was pushing forty. He cringed.

"Is there any possibility that she might be able to get off. She is claustrophobic and I can bet that she would feel very uncomfortable in a cell. Do you remember how she screamed when you brought her into the interrogation room, Booth?"

Bert stopped, turned around as if he had heard the name. He and Booth did not have a very good relationship, him having a penchant for burying his victims in shallow graves and Booth having been at the business end of his M-16. Booth squeezed his eyes shut, as if it would will him to disappear when Bert turned around.

"Shut up, Bones," he turned and whispered low in her ear.

"But honestly Booth, that poor girl cannot be incarcerated in her condition, can she? I can imagine that a judge my not see it my way, but…"

"BONES!"

The last was hissed, as Booth saw Bert turn around and head back up the alley to where he and Bones were standing. Then he started walking.

Crap! He was coming right at them, and even though he couldn't see them in the shadow, just a few steps more and he would come right upon them.

It was too late to run.

"Booth. Booth, he's…"

He cut her off. With his mouth. He had spun around, panicked and remembered the first few scenes of _Mission: Impossible_. Two people making out at the side of an alley didn't scream stakeout. So he did it, he pressed his partner up against the wall and kissed her.

What he didn't count on was her sigh of surprise.

Knowing that Bert could easily identify him by his favourite jacket, Booth quickly stripped it off and flung it on the ground beside them. Why he also pressed his partner up against the wall with his hips was anybody's guess.

She moaned, and he panicked for three seconds thinking that Bert would suspect something. But then again, moaning was what people did while making out in the alley beside a club.

The footsteps stopped. He could almost feel Bert's eyes on them a little before his footsteps became fainter and fainter as he walked back to his apartment.

Booth waited until they were gone before breaking the kiss, "You see Bones, next time we're on a stakeout and I tell you to shut up, just shut up!"

"Yeah. Whatever. Come here."

Bones pulled him to her again, hanging on to his belt buckle this time. He gasped as her hands undid the belt and the fly of his pants.

"Bones! What are you…?"

"And you're the one that complained about me wearing a skirt," she commented as she plunged a hand into his under wear, sending his nerve endings into orbit at her touch.

"Bones! We- we can't- we can't do this here."

"You started it," she said childishly, pulling his pants down a little and bracing her back on the wall as she climbed up on him. She wrapped her legs around his waist, guiding him into her and kissing away his moan of pleasure.

"Oh my God!" was all he could think to say when she allowed him to come up for air.

"Oh, Booth!" she screamed. He was sure that could probably be heard all the way down the alley where Bert's house was, but at the moment he didn't care as he rocked back and forth, pulling in and out of his partner.

They were pumping against each other, cutting off one another's air supply as their mouths fused together. He could feel her orgasm on the horizon, and though in any other circumstance, he would have delayed it as long as possible, the urge to just let loose inside of her was too overwhelming. He rocked harder, faster, until he felt her seize around him. He exploded right before her, and as her mouth came back over his, he felt a satisfaction that he never even knew he wanted.

"So just shut up next time okay?" he said unnecessarily. He felt her head nod on his shoulder.

"We should go," she slid down the wall and started fixing her clothes and he followed, taking his shirt off the dirty alley floor.

"Yeah. We've done our jobs. Two FBI guys are coming to watch the house till morning."

They walked toward the SUV together, though a little apart. His instinctual urge to touch her made him place a hand on the small of her back.

She stopped walking and looked at him. In her eyes was an unanswered question. He shrugged and pulled his hand away guiltily, but she caught it and held it firmly.

"How late is it? Do you think the diner's still open?" she asked, swinging his hand a little.

Booth ignored his heart exploding in his chest a moment, "Maybe not. I could eat some pie."

 Now where the heck did that come from? I was here reading some Scenes from a Hat stories that I like, when I just suddenly decided to take Hannah's advice (Hannah that she gave me for another story (Thanks BTW, honey). So review now. I'm dying to hear what you think. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **Nope. Not me.

This story was in my jump drive for THE longest time. I didn't post it because it's stupid. Not 'I hate it' stupid, but actually nonsensical. Anyway, it's good for a little laugh. So I'll leave you to it. 

"Ugh! They were worst than Angela and Hodgins!"

"And not many people are."

"I don't think I can interrogate them together ever again. Jeez. How do they do that? Make up all those mushy-cushy names on such short notice?"

"They've had a lot of practice."

"It would seem so."

Booth and Brennan were coming back from the home of their suspects, Barry and Janey Logan, who had been in the victim's circle of former friends and who were among the people who were affected when the venture she had encouraged them to invest him turned out to be a scam. The two of them had been married for half a decade, and still couldn't take their hands off each other long enough so Booth and Brennan could conduct a proper interview. What was worse, they couldn't stop calling each other overly sweet names like, 'Lovey Bunny' and 'Candy Lips'. The partners left the house desperately in need of water to wash all the sweet down.

Now that they were finally back at his office in the Hoover Building, Booth sipped the coffee he had just been given by Brennan and tried to get over what he had just seen.

"Ew," was all he could say. It was disgusting how the two of them had wound themselves around each other, even making out in the middle of Booth's line of questioning. Brennan didn't get much better respect from the couple either as they whispered their various names over her head to each other as she stood between them talking to Janey.

"I think maybe we should split them up next time. It is useless to have them there together. Do you agree," Brennan couldn't help but tease, "Sweetie Pie?"

Booth scowled at her over his coffee, "Don't you dare. Those names are scarring me as we speak…" But then he couldn't resist the taunting either, "Pretty Eyes."

"I really should get back to the Jeffersonian, Pookie Bear, because I have a lot of work to do. I will call you about the skeleton if I have found anything interesting, Honey Lips."

"Okay, Baby, I'll go on looking at the reports. If I find something interesting, I'll call, okay Angel Face?"

They frowned at each other. So this was a fight, huh? Well, it was a fight both of them were certain they would win. Booth knew he knew more of those overly soppy cutesy nicknames than her and Brennan was confident in her ability to make them up more quickly than he could.

"Lovey Pie." She hissed.

"Honey Bunny," he spat.

"Big Daddy," she bested him, throwing in a lift of her eyebrow.

That brought a smirk to his face, "Cookie Lips."

She folded her arms.

"Darling."

"Pumpkin."

"Honey."

"Sweetie."

"Angel."

"Cutie."

"Baby."

He hit her below the belt, "Bones."

Brennan crossed her legs as the nerve endings went wild. That was uncalled for!

Bones got out of her seat and propped herself up on Booth's desk on her fists, "Are we quarreling!?"

"Yes!" Booth didn't enjoy being looked down on, so he got up too, "I think we are!"

"I really hate those stupid soppy nonsensical names!"

"You really should stop calling me that crap!"

"Then come over here and do something about me calling you that crap!"

"That's exactly what I should do," he growled before he grabbed her by the neck and planting her mouth on his. She moaned in protest, mostly because the table was blocking her from him.

Lifting her knee onto the table, Brennan climbed onto it and crawled on her knees to get to Booth, fighting not to break their contact. He grabbed her by the waist and brought her down on the chair with him.

"Did you lock the door?" he asked her as they finally broke apart.

"Yes!" she screamed and he had no idea if it was because she had indeed locked the door or if it was because she was grinding on his lap.

He took it to mean both.

"Can I…" He asked her as he held on to the front of her blouse. She answered him by nodding and helping him to yank the buttons free. She was rotating in his lap and pleasuring the two of them. Booth groaned out as he pushed his hand into her black lace bra and kneaded her breast. She made a sound that could have meant anything, but all of them were good.

"Booth?" she said grinding in his lap for the better.

"Huh?" he was a little distracted.

"I'm sorry for arguing with you. Ahh!"

"What?"

"I'm sorry- oh!- for arguing with you."

His hand stopped, "You're kidding right?"

"N-no. I-I just realize how stupid we both sounded." He saw her lick her lips in enjoyment as her hips continued to move back and forth..

"Okay…" Now that was bizarre. Bones never apologized so easily before. He started massaging her again and her pace quickened. He could feel himself edging toward climax and so could she. She hissed as he squeezed her breast and kissed him, making his whole body catch fire.

"And Booth?" she said, on the brink now.

"Yes?"

"I sorry for not locking the door."

 Told ya it was stupid.

Review and tell me what a crazy I am for even considering to post this.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I'd rather own a chocolate factory. Maybe I could own the Star Bars factory. I did make it up.

This one is as a result of three (yes three) chocolate muffins at lunch. So don't judge. 

…………………………………………………………………………………

"It's to raise money for a new computer lab at Parker's school, Bones. You don't have to eat it. Just show your support."

"Can't I just donate money to the cause? They really aren't my favourite chocolate bar." Brennan continued to look at the screen of her lap top. 

They were outside, sitting on a picnic table under a large tree, eating lunch. It had been suggested by Booth, as their normal lunchtime hangout was today packed with persons in the city for a comic book conference. Brennan was typing a report and Booth was trying to peddle candy.

"Dammit. They're melting. Come on Bones. You can do that too, but Star Bars are really good. They have almonds and nougat and little chewy…things. They taste good. Just buy a few."

"I told you. I don't like them."  
"Milk Chocolate, Bones! What's not to like, really? And they will taste even better once you remember it's for a worthy cause." He flashed a candy bar in front of the computer screen, made it walk across her range of vision. In a squeaky, barely seductive voice, he said, "Hey Temperance. I'm a yummy juicy Star Bar. Don't you wish you could tear off my wrapper and ravish me?"

She looked up at him, "Are you neglecting to take some kind of medication?"

"Come on, Bones! So far I've only sold one box. Out of ten! You gotta help me."

"Booth, what you need is a better marketing strategy. I refuse to eat something I don't like." She buried her head back in her work.

"Why don't you like them?" he asked her. 

"I just don't Booth."  
"Come on. They're good."  
"I don't think so."

"Come on. Take a taste test."  
"I do- mmmmph!"

As her mouth opened, Booth crammed a piece of chocolate in on his finger. He didn't realize his finger had gone in too until he felt her tongue swirling around it. Her eyes were wide as saucers with a hint of confusion. He on the other hand, had a reaction that was causing him to squirm on the picnic table they were sitting on.

"Uh…woops. How does it taste?" he said, then he winced, "The candy. I mean the candy."  
He took his finger out of her mouth, and then watched as she chewed and watched him back. Her brows came together in confusion.

"Just as bad as the last time. I really don't like it."

"Hmmm," he said thought fully, putting a piece in his mouth.

"But maybe if I tried it a different way…"

Suddenly she leaned forward and caught his mouth with hers. He made a sound of surprise as she leaned closer and closer, wrapping her arms around his neck. There was a tongue battle, the heat of which caused the candy to melt on both their tongues. She pulled away after what seemed like a _really good_ eternity, and smiled.

"No. Still bad."  
"I don't think it's that bad," said Booth, his heart hammering. Did she really just kiss him and act like it was nothing? 

"Well I do. Aren't I entitled to my own opinion?"

"Not when it's stupid," he said childishly.

"I happen to like chocolate very much, Booth" she said, sounding defensive, and if it were possible, seductive at the same time.  
"What kind of chocolate?" his voice was low and husky.

"Many types. I happen to have a big bottle of chocolate syrup in my fridge at home," she said in a low whisper.

"Oh, yeah?" he leaned even closer to her, his pants getting uncomfortable as he did the math; Bones-plus-chocolate syrup-plus-him-equaled half of his dreams in recent years.

"Yes. Along with chocolate ice cream, cherries and sprinkles. All the ingredients of a good sundae."

"It should be very tasty," he said, his gaze drifting to her chest.

"Oh, yes, Booth. So good I go positively orgasmic as I taste it," just to show she had noticed him looking at her, she let her eyes do a long glance down to his lap. "Why don't you come over sometime and I'll make one for you?"

"Sure. As long as you make it with a dash of…"  
"You two!"

They turned to see Cam coming out of her car and heading towards them. Bones quickly handed Booth her lap top and he put it over his problem area.

"What is it?" Booth asked Cam as she neared the table.

"The lead suspect in the Fireman in the Freezer case? His body was just found in an ice machine."

"Dammit," said Booth, not only because he had to go look for a new suspect, but also because he was now expected to get up.

"Um…he's coming into the in about an hour," said Cam.

"Good! I mean, yeah, okay, meet you there in n hour," Booth realized he was nodding profusely and stopped.

"Oookay," Cam turned away and back to her car.

As Booth breathed a sigh, Brennan smiled.

"We have an hour to kill. Do you wanna go make sundaes?"

………………………………………………………………………………….

Tee hee hee. That was naughty.

Review. Tell me what you thought. 


	8. Chapter 8

Happy request fulfillment day! Some lucky reviewer is getting their request fulfilled. Who is it? SnoopGirl69! What did she request? A Booth struggle. So here goes. Hope I appease you darling!

**Disclaimer**: All characters belong to the relevant authorities. All situations are mine.

...

"Oh please Booth. It won't hurt you."

Booth wondered if the fact that she had been around dead bodies for so long that they desensitized her to what would truly hurt a man.

And one of those things was becoming a human guinea pig.

They entered Brennan's apartment, both laden with her groceries that she had asked him to help carry upstairs.

"I don't care what you and Cam say- or try to do- to get me to do that. I won't budge. I'm not doing it."

"Why? It's all in the name of science. Harper McKenzie was about you height and build and if we just put you in the machine-"

"No."

"This case would be over faster."

"You just wanna get me naked, don't you?" he pointed at her, "You probably have some wild fantasies about me in the back of that squinting brain of yours and you wanna get me naked to get them out of your system."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "You won't be naked. You can get a nice little blue robe. It's the same colour as our lab coats," she said it like a mother trying to make her son feel better about going to the dentist to pull his teeth.

"Well I don't care. I am not going into some stupid machine. Get some other hunk to ogle." He handed over the bag he was holding to her, shoving it a little.

"Now why do you think we want to ogle you?" she asked. He snorted.

"Angela basically had it written all over her face. And even if you try to squint it out, I know you always have sex on the brain. And Cam's just as bad. I repeat, Bones, there is no way you're getting me on that thing. Not even if you stripped."

"Now who has sex on their brain," Brennan put down the groceries in the kitchen, leaving Booth standing in her living room, "Not even if I stripped, huh?"

"Not even," he resounded, only realising his mistake when she came back into the living room. Her blue top was half unbuttoned.

"Hey, Bones...um, I didn't mean it literally,"

She gave him a fake look of surprise, "You're still here? I thought you left. You know when I come home I just start automatically releasing myself from the binds of my work clothes. You should be able to relate, since you work in suits."

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he asked her.

"Hm? Oh I'm sorry. Does me stripping in anticipation of getting into the shower to take a long,hot bath bother you?"

"Bones, you're in the middle of the living room."

"My living room," she said, getting off the last button and freeing herself of her sleeves. The bra she had on was black with tiny pink rose patterns.

"I gotta go..." said Booth, grabbing blindly for the door handle across the room, two feet away from where he stood, his eyes glued to his partner's chest.

"Oh no. We haven't finished discussing why you should help us by going into that machine, Booth. The case will be completed much faster, and I know how much you love for things to go fast. In your work, I mean."

She zipped down the zipper of her pants, and the little sound it made filled the room for a second. Booth could feel his body tense as she pushed the grey pants past her hips. Her under wear was a matching set and little pink roses patterned across her black panties.

He couldn't feel his bottom jaw.

"Booth! You're drooling!" she said in false concern, "Are you alright?"

He couldn't answer. He was too preoccupied with his partner's underwear.

"You know, you should be the one whose the most eager to get into it. The machine, I mean. Because it is your case. Really the rest of us are just helping. Even me."

As she spoke , she pulled one strap of her bra away from one shoulder, then the other. His eyes widened and his pants got considerably tighter.

"And Harper McKenzie has been buried for seven years. Don't you think we should get the case settled as fast as possible so that his daughters can have some closure?"

"Uh...yeah Bones." Booth squeaked.

"I hate these silly hooks. Don't you?" said Brennan, twisting her hand back to pull her bra. Booth's hand involuntarily lifted from his side to help, but then she got it off, her breasts spilling out from their restraints.

Booth's jaw slackened even more as she came closer.

"Shouldn't that take more precedence than how you believe we'll view you?" she stopped a few inches away from him.

"But I feel uncomfortable going into that thing." Booth finally found his voice.

"Oh. About as uncomfortable as you feel right now? Because that erection pushing out of your pants does not look comfortable."

Booth looked down at himself. Sure enough his member was basically winking back at him.

"Maybe a little less," he admitted.

"Well then, if I can make you more uncomfortable than some silly machine, it cannot be that bad, can it?" she took his hands in hers and he had a moment to wonder what on Earth she was doing before he saw her intention. She hooked his fingers into the last article of clothing she had on and pushed them down. Booth had to bend a little before the panties fell on their own to the floor.

If it were possible, he got harder. He looked down at her, all of her, and nearly had a heart attack.

"Just come to the lab tomorrow. We have the machine all set up. It will be over before you know it."

"Okay."

"Hmm?"

"I said...okay."

"That is what I wanted to hear." She bent over to take up her clothes and Booth was sure he felt faint. Before he could collapse on her floor however, she straightened up and gave him a smile.

"I'm gonna go take a shower and get ready for bed. You should home and rest. We both had a long day."

_What??_

"Bones, you can't..." he struggled to get the words out, "You can't leave me like this."

She cocked an eyebrow, "What do you want me to do about it?"

...

SnoopGirl? You out there? Was that okay? I really hate to see a good reviewer like you disappointed. So tell me what you thought!

Reviews are like M&M's. You can't have just one. So please, send me some reviews! All of you!


	9. Chapter 9

SnoopGirl, you maybe won't like this one

SnoopGirl, you maybe won't like this one.

**Disclaimer**: No. I checked.

……………………………………………

Brennan marched up to her partner, who was sitting at her dining table completing paperwork.

"Are you doing this deliberately to annoy me?" she asked, her arms folded and her eyes boring a hole into the back of Booth's neck.

"Do what?" he asked, looking up. He had thought living under the desert sky spending nights without a blanket would be the worst place he would have to live in his lifetime. But that was easy compared to living with his partner these last two weeks. It was hard to believe that _she_ was the one who offered to let him move in when his house got flooded (forgetful old lady who lived her bath faucet running) but now here she was, standing over him, arms folded over her lime green silk camisole that was the top to her lace and silk shorts pajamas, boring a hole into his face with her eyes, griping about something _else_ that he presumably did wrong.

"You left the toothpaste uncapped, Booth! I asked you over and over to _please_ put the cap back on the toothpaste!"

"Well sorry Bones, I didn't mean to leave you precious toothpaste uncapped. Heaven forbid!"

"Please try to remember next time. It's really annoying!"

"You know what?" Booth got up, slammed down his pen and glared at her, "You're a neat freak!"

"And you're a slob!" she shouted back.

"I am not a slob. You're just damn persnickety."

"I am not persnickety. You're just damn insensitive. It wouldn't take much energy to just put back on the cap when you're finished with the toothpaste!"

"What's gonna happen if I leave it Bones? Will the toothpaste escape?"

"No! But I like my toothpaste cap properly screwed on tightly."

He gritted his teeth in frustration, shoved past her and went towards the bathroom.

"Okay, I'll screw your damn toothpaste!"

He entered the bathroom and took up the toothpaste tube, surprised to see the cap already on.

"I put it on myself!" Bones screamed from the hallway.

"Then if you could do it yourself, what the hell are you griping about?"

She came to the bathroom door, "I just wanted to tell you that it would be courteous of you to put it back on when you're finished."

"You know what?" he put down the toothpaste and walked up to her, "Tomorrow, I'm buying my own toothpaste. Then I can leave the cap off all I want. Alright, Bones?"

"Great idea," she stepped closer to him, standing nose to nose with him, "Then you should buy your peanut butter too, because I'm tired of you dipping spoons into mine."

"You have a problem with me using a spoon in you peanut butter?!" Booth could hardly believe.

"Yes! Would it kill you to use a knife?"

"Nobody uses a knife to scoop peanut butter!"  
"I DO!"

"You must be the most irritating roommate in the world Bones! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"You want to know what's wrong with me!?"

"YES!"  
"_You_ are what's wrong with me, Booth! I'm really tired of you being in my space! This is my space and you're mucking it up, dipping spoons into my peanut butter _and _my jam, leaving your t-shirts on the couch, showering in the morning before me so by the time I get in there all I can smell is Old Spice? WALKING AROUND MY HOUSE IN NOTHING BUT A PAIR OF BOXERS!? As far as I can see, you're the inconsiderate one?"

"Oh and you think I've got it easy? You and your damn toothpaste is driving me up the wall! And then there are the nightgowns. What do you think this is, the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show? And when you get out of the shower, there is no good reason for you to parade up and down the halls in a towel! I won't even mention the damn yoga poses!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Fifty Push-ups Every Morning! You know another thing; do not fall asleep on my bed again!"

"As long as you stop falling asleep on mine!"

"I can't wait till you leave!"

"I can't wait till I leave either!"

He made to pass by her, but thought better of it, instead putting his hands on her bottom and pulling her to him. Her lips found his like they had countless times those two weeks, and her arms wound around his neck. His hands massaged her ass through the silk shorts she was wearing and her hips wiggled in time to his caresses over his crotch. She pulled back for a moment to pull her top over her head and one of her hands massaged her breast as her lips found his again. Booth pressed her to him, catching her gasp. He put his hands over the hand that was over her breast and she let him take over.

She stopped again, this time to help him out of his shirt. Once it was off, she peppered wet kisses across his shoulder and down his chest as he pulled her shorts down.

"Booth," she said between a kiss and a bite on his shoulder.

"Hmm?" he grunted.

"One more week and you're out of here."

………………………………………………………..

Now that you've read it, leave me some Inbox Candy!

(i.e. reviews)


	10. Chapter 10

Darlings how are you?? I haven't updated this story in how long? Anyway, this one's kinda a colab. between me and Jonie, my friend who keeps writing these smutty stories and making me insanely jelous. I started it, and she saw the unfinished one and gave me a million suggestins, half of which I didn't use because I am not as good a smut writer as she is...

She complained about the fact that Booth turns crazy in it, but it got her creative juices flowing and she's off to write _another_ smutty story. Ugh, that girl!

N E Way, enjoy...

* * *

"But I heard you say it."

"You didn't."

"Booth I'm sure that is what I heard."

"No, that is not what I said."

"Well, I'm sure..."

Brennan walked into the barn behind Booth. But instead of concentrating on finding the proposed murder weapon, she continued to question Booth.

"I'll tell you what I heard you say; 'Night Bones, we have a long day tomorrow, so get some rest. Love you."

He turned to look at her at her, "I did not say that."

She shrugged, "that is what I heard. If you said it, Booth, just admit it."

Booth sighed, rolled his eyes skyward, "I thought that was what I was doing! I'm telling you, I did not say that I love you."

There was a pause, as Bones pierced him with a stare.

"You said it," she said finally.

"I DID NOT!" he shouted, immediately getting a shush from her.

"They'll hear you!" she said in a harsh whisper, "Andrew Colman didn't exactly give us permission to be out here."

"Sorry, alright? Let's look for the hammer."

"But you did say it."

"I didn't."

"There's no reason to be embarrassed, Booth."

"I didn't say it Bones."

"I understand that you'd want to take it back. You don't actually love me..."

"Exactly. I didn't say I did either."

"...But it was a slip of the tongue. Happens all the time..."

"What do I have to do to make you stop accusing me!" Booth shouted.

"...You were tired it was late, or if you believe Sweets, you made a slip that revealed deeper feel...mmmph!"

Her sentence died as Booth in a desperate attempt to shut her up grabbed her and planted his mouth on hers. He continued to kiss her until she stopped wiggling.

"God, Bones!" Booth expelled a frustrated sigh and ran his hand through his hair, "Couldn't you just stop?!"

Her blue eyes were wide as saucers, her lips formed an 'o'.

"No! You couldn't stop! You had to go on and on and on! Will you stop now? Or are you gonna continue to drive me so up the wall I can't think straight?"

Oh. She understood. His frustration with the fact that she was bothering him made him react in an irrational way. He hadn't _really_ meant to kiss her. Didn't make it any less shocking though.

"But Booth," she said in a half-whine, "I distinctly heard you say it. Just admit it, take it back and this will be over."

"Bones, I'm sure I know what comes out of my own mouth, so drop it. Now. I mean it."

"So if that wasn't what you said, can you tell me what you did say," she asked following him as he stuck his head in a rain barrel in search of the murder weapon.

"I don't remember."

"But I do."

"I did not say that I love you!" he turned around swiftly, nose to nose with her, "you don't think I know better than to reveal my feelings for you?!"

She paused, the longest stretch of time that she had been silent since they started.

"Huh?" she finally said, uncharacteristically dumbfounded.

"What?" he asked.

"You said that you know better than to reveal your feelings for me."

He looked at her as if she had suddenly sprouted snakes from her hair, "What?! I did not say that."

"You did!"

It was her time to get shushed.

"Bones, don't you think I know what I do or do not say?"

She stared at him, "I don't think I'm sure anymore."

"No matter what Sweets says I don't have Frodo slips, okay?" he turned back to the barrel.

"You mean _Freudian_," she clarified.

"Yeah, those. You're hearing things."

"Or you're saying them," she followed him again as he went to search a shelf.

"Bones, for the very last time I did not say I love you. I do not have some kind of problem. When I do tell you how much I love you, I assure you that both you and I will hear it."

"There it is again!"

"There's what?" Booth was still searching the shelf.

"You said it again! There is nothing wrong with my ears Booth, they are perfectly fine. However there is something is wrong with you. You keep saying that you love me and completely forgetting. Or perhaps you're playing games with me. But I can tell you Booth it is not enjoyable. You need to examine your mental health, Booth, because it has been seriously affected..."

"Bones, shut up!"

He grabbed her face between his palms, stilled her and planted his lips on hers. She gasped, and he used the opportunity to lick the inside of her mouth. Their tongues slid over one another, and Brennan pressed herself closer to him. Booth in turn held on to the zip of the grey hoodie she had on and pulled it down. Only her lacy jade green bra lay underneath.

"What are you...Booth?" Brennan gasped out as Booth's mouth trailed to her ear, behind it, down her neck and to her shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

He growled in response. He still sounded mega-annoyed. Brennan on the other hand was confused and increasingly aroused.

"We can't do this. Booth we..." she gasped as Booth's teeth nipped her nipple through the fabric of her bra, "...What if they find us?"

"At twelve o'clock in the night?" Booth growled as he used a hooked finger to draw the lace away from her breast. Brennan gasped again as his lips and tongue played over her breast.

She eyes closed and she arched her back towards his caresses, "You need to find out what your problem is instead of acting out your frustration on me."

He didn't answer, except to use his hand to pinch her other breast. She jumped a little in surprise and a tiny sound came up from her throat.

"You have to assess your beha...viour, Booth. This not rational...Ah!" she squeaked as his teeth grazed her nipple. Her breath came in pants and she wiggled against the pressure between her legs.

"And if you tell me you love me one more time..."

"Alright! That's it!"

Booth took a step back, throwing his hands in the air in frustration. Brennan tried to resist the urge to shout out, _No wait! Come back and finish what you started!_

"I have never told you that I love you! Stop trying to convince me otherwise!" he pointed at her, "And don't you dare kiss me again."

Her jaw dropped in surprise, and she watched as he made his way to the ladder that led to a second storey loft, all while the butterflies did a ballet in her stomach and the pressure between her legs became unbearable.

"_You_ kissed _me_, you nut job!" she adjusted her clothes and made her way after him.

* * *

Heh. Only our friend Brennan can keep rationalising through..._THAT_. And Booth needs some serious therapy. He's crazy.

Jonie's gonna kill me for putting her name up here...

Review. You know ya want to. (Wink)


	11. Chapter 11

Jonie said I can't blame her for this one. Damn, I wish I could.

* * *

"Why do they always run?"

It was like the catch phrase of an action-packed blockbuster movie. But it was well justified Dr. Brennan could see. Booth had just scaled a wall, taken down a killer, putting him in handcuffs and flung him into the back of the SUV, all without breaking a sweat. Needless to say his partner was proud.

So while he reveled in his new action hero status, Brennan decided to play the role of hard-to-please but secretly proud superior.

"You did good," she said, and to top it off, she swatted him on the rear.

...

"How many times do I have to tell you stop doing that?"

It had been weeks since that first thwack. She was getting to do it more and more, as he simultaneously ignored it less and less.

"I'm sorry," she wasn't, "It's just a gesture of appreciation, of solidarity and fraternity. It could possibly be equated to a guy hug."

"Yes but a guy hug tends to hurt me less. I'm leaving."

"Bye...cowboy," Brennan gave his cute little rear a slap with the file she was holding.

He stopped, and she expected him to give her a fine and proper telling off. But he just let out a pent-up sigh and continued.

...

"Don't you dare!"

This time -three weeks in- Booth caught her hand before she could do any more damage. She peered at him innocently, her eyes looking at him like a puppy that didn't know tearing up the sofa was wrong. Speaking of sofas, they had been on the one in Brennan's office. Hodgins and called them to see something important to the case. Booth (unlucky for him) got up first and Brennan (lucky for her) got the chance to give his rear end a good whack. But that is when he caught her arm.

"You would not want somebody to walk around slapping you. So respect me and my ass!"

_Your nice cushy ass_, said Brennan's brain.

...

They were in the interrogation room a week after. The suspect they had been interrogating had confessed to the crime and was now in custody. They felt good having taken another criminal off the streets. Booth beamed at her.

"Well that's it. You wanna go grab some food at the diner?"

"Sure," she said automatically. He got up and walked towards the door. She soon caught up and took the opportunity to give her partner a swat on the rear.

He stopped and turned, looking at her in a way that told her she was in trouble.

"You," he growled, "have gone too far, Bones. I told you not to do that."

"Sorry," _she wasn't_, "It was just a reflex."

"Reflex my ass."

"Exactly. A reflex that involves me smacking your ass."

"You know turnabout's fair play."

"I don't know..."

Before she could finish, he drew her to him and held her firmly as he administered his palm to her rear end, each smack emitting a different response from his anthropologist partner.

_One!_

"OW!" she squealed in pain and surprise, her eyes wide.

_Two!_

"Oh!" Less pain, more surprise and a hint of something Booth couldn't name.

_Three!_

An incomprehensible sound.

"You see! Nobody likes to get spanked. So the next time you spank me, I'm spanking you right back!"

"Really?" she asked.

"Yes, Bones. Really."

He turned around, only to feel his partner's hand as it tapped him lightly on his rear.

"Didn't you hear what I just said?" he turned and said to her.

Brennan stared at him with faux innocence.

"I'm not joking with you, Temperance Brennan! You're getting that back!"

He grabbed her again, this time turning her so she held on to the table. He swatted her, hard, three more times and turned her back around.

"You see now that I'm not playing with you? I'm dead serious, Bones!"

"I know," she said, "I'm sorry." Once again, she wasn't.

"You better be," he turned to walk out, thought better of it, and stood aside to let her pass him first. As she walked by him, her hand snaked out and slapped him on the rear.

Booth nearly lost his mind.

"_What is _**wrong**_ with you?_" he held on to her again and swung her till she was holding on to the table once more. This time, his hands came down on her six times, his anger not enough to cause her serious pain, but enough that she should have learned her lesson.

"What do you think about that, huh?" he said angrily, grabbing her by the arms and turning her back around, "Don't you feel degraded, humiliated, even maybe remorseful?"

Then he looked at her face. Her clouded eyes. Her slightly open, pushed out lips. Her laboured breathing...

"You're _enjoying_ this?!"

"Nobody has ever spanked me in my life before," she said in a husky voice.

Booth squinted at her, "You've gotta be kidding me!"

"I have heard that some couples use it as foreplay, but I never found it necessary. I'm more of a garter belt and thigh high pantyhose person."

"TMI, Bones," said Booth, letting her go.

"TM..."

"Too much information!"

"Oh. I will stop hitting you, Booth, since you don't like it," she told him, while in her head going over her list of lovers and tried to find one that might be into that, "I on the other hand..."

"You're sick,"

"Don't say that to me!" she swatted him on the rear again.

His anger was so much that he didn't realise it was a trap. He turned her to the desk and hit her a few more times. Then he realised; she had tricked him into hitting her again!

"Bones- you -need- to- stop- hitting- me!" he said angrily, surprised he was still hitting her even after he realised the trap. Finally he stopped.

"And you need to keep hitting me," she turned to him, lights dancing in her eyes.

"We gotta go," he said, "someone could be watching through the glass."

Brennan turned to the one-sided glass in the interrogation room and sighed, seeing his point.

"Okay. I'll call Kenny later."

"Who is Kenny?"

"An old boyfriend of mine. He seems the most likely to be into spanking."

Booth scrunched up his face, "TMI, Bones! Way too much information!" he turned again to walk out.

"Well, what else do you want me to do?" she asked.

It was like he had eyes in the back of his head. He turned around just as her hand went up in the air.

"Don't even think about it!"

* * *

Just review. With this story, I'll be satisfied with a "Where the heck did that come from?"

Actually I have no answer to that question.


End file.
